Last Monday I went to Hay-On-Wye for the Literature Festival and this is PART 2 of that tale.
You can read PART 1 here.
Getting there wasn’t as easy as you would think, but in the end I was victorious and at 7ish I stood excited at the gate of the Festival site.
Caitlin Moran’s event was scheduled for 8.30, so I took my time browsing books at the Oxfam Bookshop and at the Festival Bookshop. After staring bewildered at a copy of ‘Harrius Potter et Philosophy Lapis’ (I knew it existed; I never had seen one in ink and paper), I headed towards the Tata Tent and waited in line, while my partner went back to the bookshop to get her ninetieth Art Book.
The event was great. I even managed to sit close enough to see her face. Her fantastic Muppet Face.
Caitlin Moran not only told fair and square why women are better than men (“1) they can think about more than one thing at a time, 2) they look good with a bun on their head and 3) they can have multiple orgasms), but also set the bar for future revolution. And she did it with a dictionary.
‘Revolution: sea change, metamorphosis, transformation, innovation, regrouping, reorientation’.
Moranifesto – Caitlin Moran
It’s not about throwing bricks in windows. It’s about change. Good change. Reorientation change.
However, what I found most inspiring came later, when someone from the audience asked: (paraphrasing) “Since you have such great opinions about how the world should change, have you ever thought of getting into politics and make that change happen?”
Her answer (still paraphrased) was something like this: “That’s a good question. Why should I? With my writing I can inspire hundreds of people to bring that change into the world, I am already changing the world.”
Then there was a joke about Donald Trump and the promise that if things would cross the line, she would indeed put her parliament boots on and walk into Westminster.
Isn’t that something? It’s like saying: “Hey, why don’t you get over the world? Your millions of readers will back you up!” To which she would respond: “Nah, I’ll just make tea and write an article about Mother Nature’s Enforced Kit Kat Break.”
I couldn’t love her more.
Once the event was finished, I headed straight to the Festival Bookshop to see if I could get an autograph, but the line was so long and I was so tired and my partner was waiting and I decided it was better to go home and get some sleep.
(If Caitlin happens to read this, don’t take it personally. I made a silent promise to myself to work hard and one day earn an interview with you, much in the way Lena Dunham has. Oh Gosh I wish that was true.)
As it turned out, I wasn’t going to get home any time soon anyway.
With one phone drained of battery and the other hopelessly out of reception, I decided to head towards Hereford, in the attempt to make my life easier. For some reason, we ended up on the motorway to Gloucester (which is NOT on the way to Bristol). When we turned around, headed towards Monmouth (again!), we promised each other to get an AA Travel Guide, like, yesterday.
It took us three hours to get home.
Three hours for a one hour and half journey.
And I had said: “Let’s get a car, it’ll be faster.”
The full event ‘Caitlin Moran – Moranifesto’ is available to listen to on the Hay Festival website for only £1. Get it here.